David Hopkinson, Ph.D., P.C., Psychologist

Specialties:

Couples Counseling

Couples go through turmoil that risks the survival, of the partnership. What helps? Mutual goodwill, friendship, trust, and respect. What brings couples for help most often are: (1) destructive, escalating conflict; (2) difficulty in being authentic and being emotionally close, if not sexually intimate; and (3) violations of boundaries.

Trauma Resolution

A story about a terrifying experience may "insist" upon expression in behavior, such as: avoiding similar situations, excessive vigilance, a strong startle response, emotional numbness, disturbing dreams and intrusive memories. Trauma fosters isolation and separateness. Telling your story means externalizing the burden and re-connecting in the telling. If you cannot tell your story, it may "tell" you, shaping your life in ways that you would not otherwise choose to live. Breaking silence means taking charge, finding freedom.

Assertiveness Skill Development

If you have difficulty speaking up, saying "no" and standing your ground, then you need to become more assertive. The goal is not to become aggressive, nor to intimidate, nor to "win", but rather to have clear boundaries: to express your values, state your preferences, and make clear the limits of what you are willing to do. The better you know who you are, the easier it is to stand your ground. Assertiveness is a natural antidote to depression. Find your voice.

Compassionate Connection (Anger Management)

Compassionate connection is the proper kind of influence in a personal relationship. Frustrated rage signals that you feel helpless and defeated. Influence you partner by clarity, negotiation and persuasion, rather than moody threats of impending anger and outbursts of rage. Your goal is to obtain willing cooperation, not mere resentful compliance, which is always half-hearted - and temporary.